Research shows that gender biases start at a young age but it’s still unclear where the stereotypes come from. Most children are able to identify themselves as either boy or girl by the age of 3. At the age of 5 boys and girls tend to associate brilliance with their own gender. But around 6-7 girls believe boys are smarter and more talented than girls.
Today, my 4.5 year-old daughter said that she was “smart smart” but not like “smart smart smart smart smart”. Where in the world does this come from? Her dad and I are both pilots and we want her to be filled with the knowledge that she is capable of doing anything. We expose her to all things aviation; we take her to the airport and take her flying with us. But of course she is more interested in the airport dog ‘Amelia’ than sitting in the jet I fly and that's okay with me. I want her to know she can do anything, teach engineering or be a race car driver. Her dad wants her to be a chef and I think she would be a good doctor or veterinarian because she is a natural care-taker.
It starts young and parents can help
Believing that they are not as gifted as boys, girls tend to shy away from demanding majors and fields, leading to big differences in aspirations and career choices between men and women. “These stereotypes discourage women’s pursuit of many prestigious careers; women are underrepresented in fields whose members cherish brilliance,’’ the authors wrote.
The things I'm very aware of are those tiny nuances that we do that create gender biases in the first place that we don't even know about. For instance, tonight something broke and my daughter handed it to me saying that she thought it was broken for good. I put it aside saying that maybe dad can fix it tomorrow. (Open mouth insert foot!) I know better than that and tomorrow we will get out the superglue and fix it together without needing dad’s help.
My husband and I discuss things we already do to show gender bias like that he always drives and I ride shotgun. How does this encourage any girl to take command of her own ship? Here are some other ideas to help fight gender biases according to Harvard University.
1. Check Your Own Biases
2. Engage Your Kids in Making Your Home a Bias-Free Zone
3. Help Kids Kick Stereotypes to the Curb
4. Don’t Just Let “Boys Be Boys”
5. Build Girls’ Leadership Skills and Self-Confidence
My favorite recommendation on this list that I plan to do with my 1 year-old daughter is to mix up gender specific names in songs. Maybe I will sing “Marty had a little lamb, little lamb” and maybe, “Julie be nimble, Julie be quick, Julie jumped over a candlestick”. But one thing I try very hard to do is to praise my daughter's strong legs that make her run fast. I praise her courage for taking corners fast on her bike. And most of all I allow her autonomy to make her own choices. I hope I’m teaching her respect for others and for her own body. Above all else I want her to believe in herself and know that she will always be brilliant!